i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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