I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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