Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
