OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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