Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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