Me too!
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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