he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
