I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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