like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Randomize
