I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
