It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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