God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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