she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize