call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
