he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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