I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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