update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
