We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
