Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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