What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
