he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
