My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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