I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
