Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
