my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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