If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
