Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
