just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
