ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
it hurts more in the daytime
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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