all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
