omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
