After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
We need to rekindle our bromance
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
