yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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