apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
well most of my day revolves around power hour
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
the liver wants what the liver wants
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize
