i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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