how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
