how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
my poor anus
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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