So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
