did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I need a beard to bite.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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