I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
