I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Randomize
