I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
