As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
