At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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