I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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