forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
