He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
