Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
