she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize