I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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