My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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