i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
