I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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